July 12, 2009
By June Landrum
Recently, we observed the 15th birthday of my youngest granddaughter with a quinceañera. Brihana and her cousins arrived at the lake at Aquarena Springs in a limousine, and she looked like a princess in her pale pink dress and tiara.
Family came from Chicago, Houston, Dallas, Kentucky and San Luis Potosí to join us in Austin. Our minister blessed the occasion and told Brihana that, having reached the age of 15, she is more responsible for understanding her faith, and he challenged her to take that responsibility seriously. He also admonished her (jokingly, on the advice of her father, my son) not to marry until she is 30.
Her aunt, cousin, grandmothers and mother exhorted her to remember her heritage, to respect herself, to look for challenges and to embrace her bright future. Our son Bret had moist eyes throughout the evening. There was a lovely dinner, followed by dancing, which (I'm told) went on until 2 a.m. We made a quiet exit shortly before midnight.
The quinceañera is a Latino tradition that marks a girl's coming of age. My husband and I are as Anglo as can be. We received our introduction into the Hispanic culture 17 years ago when we met our son's future wife, Mary Lopez.
A year after their marriage, Mary and Bret presented us with our youngest granddaughter, Brihana Rea, her middle name after my mother. I thought she had the fullest head of black hair and the biggest dark eyes I had ever seen on a baby. Brihana's birth was the commencement of the merging of our two families. It wasn't immediate nor is it complete, and on occasion we may not have quite known what to make of each other. But with her birth, our worlds were forever changed and a wonderful life adventure began.
Our home is normally quiet and things are orderly; Brihana's maternal grandmother's home is filled with the aroma of Mexican food and the sounds of exuberant conversation. My husband and I have no extended family in Texas, but we quickly realized that all of Brihana's very large circle of friends were people to whom she was also related by blood.
Brihana is a first-generation American on her mother's side.
Her mother, our future daughter-in-law, came to the United States when she was 8 years old. She didn't know a word of English. My husband and I have no idea when our ancestors first called America home or the circumstances that brought them here, so I am a bit envious of Brihana's knowledge of her Hispanic heritage and the ease with which she lives in both cultures.
Brihana enthusiastically dances to Tejano music and enjoys Jane Austen novels. Her first words were Spanish, but those quickly faded and now she takes Spanish classes. She loves frijoles as well as fried chicken. Brihana was baptized as an infant as is the Catholic custom, and when she decided she was ready, her Protestant grandfather baptized her, too. She looks forward to spending time at her mother's family ranch in Mexico and to visiting her dad's family farm in Kentucky.
Brihana had been excited about her quinceañera for years. She took part in several such celebrations in Mexico, and her mother and aunt often talked about their quinceañeras, when at last they were allowed to wear makeup and high-heeled shoes and go dancing. As for me, I had no idea what a quinceañera was, and it took several tries to learn to pronounce it without Brihana having to suppress giggles.
The union of our families has provided us with some good laughs. I'll never forget the day 6-year-old Brihana came crying to her mother — it seemed her Mexican cousins had told her she couldn't go with them to the flea market because she wasn't Mexican.
Tearfully, she begged her mother, "Can't I be Mexican just long enough to go to the flea market?" I laughed so hard my sides ached.
Our families celebrate birthdays and other happy occasions together. Two of Brihana's cousins call my husband and me "Grandma" and "Grandpa," and we love them as our own. We have shared a picnic or two and the experience of cheering for Brihana at T-ball and volleyball games.
I traveled with Brihana and her mother to Mexico for a whirlwind trip of sightseeing, a 50th wedding celebration and a traditional Mexican quinceañera, steeped in pageantry and tradition.
I wouldn't take anything for those nine days, and I saw a Mexico I didn't know existed. I would not have had that fascinating opportunity without the gracious help of the Hispanic side of Brihana's family.
At the beginning of this column, I wrote that we "observed" Brihana's quinceañera. But the truth is we celebrated her quinceañera, the Lopez and Landrum families together.
Thank you, Brihana, for opening these doors for us.
Source:
Austin American-Statesman
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